If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize