that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your cock deserves a montage
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize