i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
