? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
