I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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