Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
