turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize