As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
