problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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