If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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