you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
