ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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