"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
