The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
