So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
