I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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