Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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