why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
