his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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