Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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