dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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