Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize