he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
