i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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