"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize