We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
