"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
