So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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