I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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