He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
