Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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