I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
