I can tuck mytits in my pants
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
