omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
