Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
