My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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