Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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