I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
