Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
