I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
