i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
