I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
