Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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