i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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