i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
