You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
