Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
