I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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