Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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