i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Blow job season was short but glorious.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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