i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
