I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
