I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
