i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
