Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
