If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
