it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
